Ouch! Did You Just Dis My Person?

Sometimes I think I’m getting just as paranoid as “Charlie.” One sad element of Charlie’s mental state is an inclination to paranoia. This might be because he was in restraints almost the entire time he was hospitalized after his accident. Or maybe he would have been this way anyway. But it becomes problematic when something bad happens, he can’t know all the facts about it, and he imagines people taking advantage of him.

Last week, something happened that leaves me inclined to agree with him, and I’m upset along with him. The details are not important in this accounting because I really just want to talk about my reaction. Often, when Charlie starts off on a tale that is based on paranoid reactions to an event, I will do my best to offer alternative explanations for what happened. My goal is to help him let it go and not dwell on it. Occasionally it works.

This time, Charlie related a story of meeting someone in the hallway who asked his opinion about plans for a project he’s part of. He was given two options and expressed his dislike of both. He told the person we were headed out of town and would talk when we returned. After we returned, I ran into the same person in the hall, asked what was up with the project, and was told that the decision had been made. I said we’d like to explore a third option, but was told that wasn’t possible.

We live in a community with a lot of public process, so this whole episode is totally out of line with what passes for normal here. If I had not run into the same person who first talked with Charlie, I’d have been convinced that Charlie was confused about the whole conversation. But now I’m seeing things from Charlie’s point of view. This really does seem like people are taking advantage of him, claiming that they’ve consulted with him and have his endorsement of their proposal, and moving forward with something that skips over informing people who will be affected by the change.

This ticks me off! Fortunately, I’ve fought a lot of battles like this in the past, and I’m pretty good at bringing such machinations to the surface so that people don’t get away with sneaky deals. I’m fairly confident I can do so again. But the thought of people here taking advantage of Charlie because of his limitations is very disturbing. If we’re wrong about this, I’ll let you know. If we’re not wrong, I’ll let you know.

One recent offering of the classes at Harborview was called Advocacy. Charlie wanted to attend, but couldn’t at the last minute. He’s hoping to find another offering of this class because he really wants to be able to stand up for himself effectively – without just getting hurt or angry. Did any of you attend this class? Let us know what you learned.